What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?
by M i s s. CANDYcancer
Summary: Well here it is! we got Jhonen Vasquez, Jhonny, Squee, Dib, Zim, Gir and any other characters you might request! It's yet another talk show for you to send in dares and questions for our little JV cult! Have fun kiddies!


Soru-looks around-gasps- It's been so long! My Show! Well, anyways, I would just like to welcome everyone to my show that was canceled thanks to Jvffictionnet BURN IN HELL! AND NO MORE CHERRY FIZ WIZ FOR YOU!' Um yea... WELL LET'S BRING OUT MY CO-HOST YASHA! And let's also not Flame Soru for her bad spelling and grammer because she can't get spell check for a damn 'CaSiNo AdWaRe ViRuS'... grrr. Let's also not flame Soru just because this is very Out of Author's style of fanfiction and just the plain fangirl-ness! TRUST ME I AM NOT A FANGIRL!... atleast I try to keep myself under control, this talk show was just for fun, and hopefully I will get responses such as dares and Questions for the cast!Yasha? COME ON OUT! 

-Crowd covered in cobwebs: YAY!

Yasha : Hmmn what should I say...-thinking-

Soru: Come on Yash your on the show! Say something to our reviewers...THEY'RE WAITING!

Random audiance member: Hey, does she know what happened to your last co-host because I think that she should kn-

_BLAM_

Soru-hides head 'splody button- Erm... don't listen to her... Nothing happened to our eariler co-host...-cough- a little cartoon-ish sound effects couldn't cure so it could go on air with our being cencored due to the massive amounts of gore...

Yasha: O.O;; Well... It's great to be next to my bestest buddy!

Crowd: AWWE!

Yasha : Um heres a lil about me I like Nny Squee and Jhonen and um last night ...well lets not get into details. All I gotta say is that Jhonen Rules! and I 'respect' him in anyway possible he he...

Soru: With that said lets bring out todays guests JHONEN VASQUEZ!

_POOF_

Jhonen:...erm...Where am I?

Soru: Your on the set of What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar The Question and Dare show! Wow I need to think of a better way to explain that... TAKE A SEAT BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND FREEZE IT THEN USE IT TO GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH!... Thanks for coming to the show.

Jhonen: Oh Lord.. Not another Me-obbsessed fangirl who hosts another nightmarishly bad fanfic-talk/dare show...-OW!

Soru-hides shock button that connected to Jhonen's new shocky patch on his arm-denomic voice- NEVER call me a fangirl. -normal voice- Yes, unfortunatly for our dear Jhonen here this is another one of thoes... BUT WITH A TWIST!... an undecided twist, BUT A TWIST NONE THE LESS!... oh yea and I'M NOT A FANGIRL! I will go on living in denial, until the truth finally sets in, but as of now I am NOT fangirl!

Jhonen: You just keep on thinkin tha- OWW! DAMN!

Soru: Ahee...

Yasha: umm -walks to Jonen - So Jhonen how have you been?

Jhonen-weird look- YOU YOUR A HORRIBLE FAN YOUR NOT GROPING ME YET! ARE YOU CRAZY?

Yasha: Nah Jhonen I repect ya!

Soru: Hee hee... I respect you too Jhonen...

Jhonen: Why do you keep winking and looking at me in a seductive way every time you say 'respect'... and why are you holding a leash?

Yasha-touches ass-

Jhonen: SQUEE!

Soru: Which brings us to our next guess SQUEE! Or, Todd Casil if you will. But before we continue since Squee is such a cute little Squee there are always thoes crazy fangirls who want to screw little Squeegee, and though I'm sure Johnny and Jhonen could handle them... Squee couldn't, Yasha? Get the frozen weenie bat.  
Oh yea... wait, arent we the sicker ones who wanna screw little Squeegee?

Yasha -gets bat- yeah...hehe -vixenous stare- I wanna screw lil Squeegee...hehe

Soru-gets out large peice of paper rolled up into a tube- We must supress our instincts.

Jhonen: OH COME ON MAN! THE KIDS LIKE...9!

Soru and Yasha-in usion- I like 'em young.

Jhonen:..I'm 23...-cough-

Yasha: AND I'M LEGAL-supressed cough-

Jhonen:...Oh Jesus.

Soru: Anyhoo, let's bring out SQUEEGEE!

Corwd-Cheer unmercifly with out being provoked to do so-

Soru: Ooh, Squee's loved!

Squee-Poof- Where am I?

Soru-Fuming- Because you are so adorable I am willing to forgive you for you stupidity-looks out to the crowd- THE SIGN IS OVER THERE PEOPLES IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO MISS!

Squee-Squee-

Crowd-Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe-

Yasha -Looks around- grr...can we go to erm,...commercial I want to eh...show little squee around the set...and my dressing room the er...closet is very heh spacious ;

Soru: NO! NO COMMERCIALS FOR YOU-hits head with paper tube- WE -smack- DON'T -smack- MOLLEST -smack- THE -smack- GUESTS -smack.

Yasha: Ooww! Fine...but after the show. He wont be a guest no more and then Imma mollest him -Looks at Squee and pinches cheeks-

Jhonen:.. AREN'T I THE FANDOM HERE?

Soru:... do you want to be?

Jhonen: Eep.

Soru: That's what I thought, Now lets bring out our next guest! He's tall lanky and everyone's favorite homicdal maniac. Our next guest, one crazy wastelock! JOHNNY COLT EVERYBODY!

Crowd-Cheer-

Yasha-Looks out in crowd- IS THAT A TACO.. A SQUEE PLUSHIE? A GIR PLUSHIE-leaves suddenly-

Soru-ahem- Okay, well now that Yasha has decided to leave -growl- I guess we will continue the show.

Jhonen-hiding Taco bag that once concealed the taco he threw out in the crowd and ebay order form, knowing any JV fan's weakness was Tacos, Squee plushies, and Gir plushies.- One down, one more to go...- OW!

Soru: NO! WE DON'T DISTRACT THE HORRIBLE SCREAMING GOBLIN FANS WITH PLUSHIES AND TACOS!

Jhonen:.. bring out the next guest.

Soru: Okay, well our next guess is every Zim fans dream... well the fanfictionnet ones anyways... He's got one big ass head and paranioa that will get him no where in life... otherwise known as mothman.

( real Mothman ): 300 will die...

Soru-beats mothman with stick- WRONG-ow- STORY-ow- LINE!

Johnny:...-ahem- Can we get on with this, seeing as Yasha confinscated all my weapons hidden in my trench coat-

Yasha-In crowd eating Tacos and holding Gir and Squee plushies next to her wearing Nny's 'make-up-for-the-one-he-had-in-hell-but-will-never-be-able-to-replace'-trench coat- HIYA NNY!

Johnny: ANYWAYS AS I WAS SAYING- since she took them all, I won't be able to severly mutilate you all for you faults... so -cough- please get on with it.

Soru: ...PLEASE WELCOME GIB LADIES AND GENTS!

Jhonen-sigh- Another talk show completly ruined by-freakish stare at Soru- Hey... Someone said that in the Volume one Invader Zim commentary didn't they?.. You really are crazy!

Richard Horvitz in crowd: I'll get you Gib!

Jhonen: Some people are just to obbsessed...

Soru-smiling like the Cheshire cat- Dib everyone!

Dib-poof- where am-

Soru-Hands Dib complementary welcoming brochure and places a necklace of flowers around his neck... which doesn't fit- DAMN IT! IT WON'T FIT AROUND YOUR MASSIVE HEAD!

Dib: My heads not big.. Look at Gaz's It's bigger than mine!

Yasha-raises hand from crowd- No actually that's just you.

Soru-throws away flower necklace- Whatever, you didn't seem like the treehugger type anyways.

Dib-reading brochure: Talkshow?... Oh man! Not another one! Jeeze, the last one I was at I got a question that was asking if I had a secret love affair with Zim!

Soru: Well... -sigh- Chances are you'll get another one. So how have you been Dib?

Dib: Well I-

Soru: LET'S BRING OUT OUR NEXT GUEST!

Dib: Does she always do that?

Johnny: Yea... It's scary at times...

Soru-rubber necking and eavsdropping- Yes, BUT I don't like the word 'preps' or Steryotyping or hypocrits who cry all the time and "OH SOB SOB! MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE BECAUSE THEY CALL ME A FREAK AND 'GOTHIC' BUT IM NOT ABOVE CALLING THEM PREPS, POSERS, AND SLUTS!"

Some random person in the crowd bursts into tears: WHATEVER-leaves-

Squee:... Hey... where's Shmee?

Soru-leans over to Johnny- You did rip off his head right?

Johnny:... eh? You believe Shmee is evil too! I TRIED TO TELL YOU SQUEE BUT-

Soru: SHUT UP NNY-clamps hand over mouth- He went home... He doesn't like... -looks around for source- curtains... Nope, hates em. -secretly hands Nny Shmee- Killitkillitkillit.

Johnny-grabs Shmee-walks away-

Squee: Where is Johnny going? And I didn't know Shmee didn't like curtains...

Soru-sicking sweet voice- Well sweetie Shmee just died of spontanious combustion!

Squee: Wha...?

Soru: But I did get you a new bear, HIS NAME IS GIB!

Squee:.. But

Soru-demonic eyes- TAKE IT!

Squee-Squee-... hey... This Gib thing smells like bolonga...

Soru: Don't mind that...

-flashback-

Yasha:This will be perfect for Squee!

Soru:... But it's been in the dumpster for the past week... and it's the old bolonga bin from the walmart...

Yasha:... Well... It's free right? That means more monies to buy Jhonen Vasquez's soul from that one guy... erm...God?...

Soru: How much is that going for anyways?

Yasha: 3.50? Knowing his lazy ass... With the whole Jesus thing going on, him and God are having a fight at the moment and Jesus is grounded for the next 300 years for betting the lives of the entire Nickolodean staff that Invader Zim wouldn't be canceled, and since he lost the bet.. well, yea, so he got grounded... So that means no more spending money on PS 2 games from Hollywood Video... So that means soul prices are low this year...

Soru: I agree, lets take it.

-end flashback-

Jhonen: YOU BOUGHT MY SOUL?

Soru: No... unfortunatly I spent the money on this nifty Gir keychain...

Jhonen:... -Mouths an 'o' and looks away rather horrified-

Soru: Anyways, ZIM EVERYONE!

Zim-poof- wha-gets handed brochure from Dib-

Zim: Hey what are you doing here- Oh Tallest... Another talk show, correct?

Jhonen: Yes, but the evil force that is Soru Skellington claims that there is a twist...

Johnny-sigh- so how've you been Zim?

Zim: Fine, and you Jhonen?

Jhonen: I've been hiding away from thoes God awful fangirls...

Dib: I hear ya...

Johnny: I second that

Zim: I... whatever that also... Why isn't Gir here?

Johnny: We can only pray for his soul that he isn't sucked in too...

Zim: Hopefully that crazy ass in-denail fangirl won't bring out Gir...

Soru: Amen to that... LET'S BRING OUT GIR!

Guests-classic anime fall-

Crowd-Bursts into cheers and claps and screams -without- Soru having to threaten them first-

Soru: Wow I didn't know Gir was so popular... yea I did... Jhonen, you even said do yourself.

Jhonen: America loves Gir... May his soul rest in peace for the fangirls that are about to come.

Gir-poof-...-blank stare-

Crowd: AWWWWWWW!

Random fangirl: I LOVE YOU GIR!

Gir-hugs self- I love me too!

Crowd: Awww.

Kahla(a random fan from crowd): I LOVE YOU GIR! EVERY TIME I SEE YOU I CAN'T STOP SMILING... BE MY LOVER!

Gir:. . . . . . . . . . . . . -bursts into dancing frenzy- If you wanna be lover, gotta get with my friends doo doo doo friendship... something something doo doo doo... that's the way it I-ISS! SO TELL ME WATCHA WANT WATCHA REALLY WANT!

Crowd-cheering-

Dib: T.T Now see if I did that... I would be screwed over for the rest of my life...

Rest of cast including Soru: T.T Amen...

Zim:...I would ask him to put on his dog suit... but seeing as how that would make him even more fan-glomped. I'm deciding against it.

Soru: T.T Well then theres that whole population of fans who love him with out his dog suit...

Johnny: your the author can't you blur his face out of something...

Jhonen: Damn me for my genius artistry...

Soru-blurs out Gir's face-

Crowd: Awwe. -half of audience leaves-

Soru: Anyways, GIR! HOW'S IT BEEN WITH YA? Taken over the world yet or what?

Zim: You know I never thought of that.. with Gir's cuteness I could-

Jhonen: Nope, remember Hamstergeddon?

Zim: Oh yea...

Soru: Do you even want to take over the world? You know... with a face like that anyone could...

Gir-completely not comprehending what Soru said- I doo...

Soru-deadpan glare- Here, a piggie keep yourself entertained.

Gir: PIGGAH!

Johnny -leans over: Man Squee you got compitition.

Squee-suddenly very OOC which he will be through out the rest of the show- That's what you think Nny...

Soru: OH OH OH! OH! OH! OH!

Jhonen-mocking Soru- WHAT WHAT WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

-buzz-

OW!

Soru: POLL! I gotta poll ready... okay, for all you fans who just can't resist...who has the more adorable face? Gir or Squee? Gir, Squee? Squee, Gir? Todd, Gir? Gir, Todd? Go on Cast your votes! Something to review for!

Jhonen: Or Jhonen... You know?..scary sex groupies are good for Jhonen too...

BUZZ

OW!

Soru: This is an adorable-contest Not a most talented person on this earth and universe that will someday rule the world and not to mention rather well.. SEXAH-contest.

Jhonen: Stop making me say things like that... I'm gonna go get an Ice Sucky now... Anyone wanna come?

Everyone: I do!

-walks away-

Soru-runs back to audience- WAIT! Before I go please review cast in votes and ask questions and send in dares! Limit of four per review! Will be back for the next chapter of the ever famous... to me talk show fic, What would do for a Klondike bar? Remember! Questions and dares for the cast!

Johnny-off stage: YOU COMING OR NOT?

Soru: Hopefully Yasha will be here for the next chapter! FORGIVE ME FOR THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SHOW! HAVE SWEET NIGHTMARES AND A PLEASANTLY MORBID TOMORROW -runs off stage- Coming Nny!


End file.
